Week 3

I don’t even really remember this week.
Apart from pain. I woke on Tuesday to my left arm being incredibly sore, i thought i must have slept on it funny. Yea no, i didn’t, its only gotten worse and travelled around my body. My left arm has stayed sore (which seems like an understatement) all week. It hurts to type, and i’m not sure how many times i had to stop typing this week at work because of the pain. It’s also been in my right fingers, although not to the same extent.
The rest of my body has also been sore and tired and my back was so sore today, i kind of hobbled around the supermarket.
My voice has been really weird this week too. Shaky and sometimes i have felt like i could only whisper. I felt really self conscious talking and tried not to.

It’s hard to know what is caused by what though. And what is normal.

I am on two drugs that cause nerve pain and bone pain as well as muscle pain.

My hair has started to fall out. Rhianna did a good job of dying it again for me. I wasn’t going to wait for another week or two with really bad regrowth.
Its falling out in the shower mainly. I feel something on my leg and then see a knot of hair. Its gross coz it feels like a spider on my leg, and then its almost a relief when its just hair. Lol.

I’m looking forward to my oncology appointment on Tuesday so i can ask some questions and get some pain medication.

I was ok yesterday, but just got hit yesterday at 9ish feeling really sick. I had work and felt so bad calling in sick. It meant the PM person had to stay on, but she was so lovely about it. I sat with a bucket for ten minutes before deciding i couldn’t go to work and got Mathew to help me into bed. I was dizzy, had a splitting headache and kept going to vomit. I was fine after i had slept, or maybe not quite fine, but better.
I think i just hadn’t noticed how tired i was.

Work texted this morning and told me to rest so i stayed in bed till lunch time.
They were extra shifts i was going to be doing. So i won’t take anymore work on a Saturday, or towards the end of the week, at least while i’m on placement. It’s too important for me to rest and finish placement.
I really want to graduate next year.

This week as well has been hard emotionally. I’ve felt low every day at some stage and really felt like i was falling apart inside towards the end of the week.
I think the pressure of my last first placement week is getting to me maybe. I really ant to finish on Friday, and i could so easily not if i get sick or something.
And just everything else. coz it kind of sucks. I’d like to have energy to see people, but i only really have the energy to do what i have to do. I don’t like not sticking to commitments and responsibilities, so placement and work and other commitments have to come first otherwise i’ll just feel stink.
Everyone’s being really good and understanding though. I know logically there’s no pressure to do everything like i used to.
PS toats not going to be the do everything, be everything to everyone queen again.
It is good to learn that it is ok to not have to do everything. And i know i am still learning this.

There was good things this week though.
Hata’s back. Made my week to see her.
Loved seeing my small group girls, loved some of them singing for me.
Very proud of Sarah and the study she ran, it was great.
And seeing Jenna’s face is the bestest.
Support and prayers and hugs from people
My husband is fantastic and looks after me amazingly.
My little sister who’s actually taller than me is great, we dip dyed her hair today after she did mine. I need practice on that-sorry babes.
My trainer is great and really positive and encouraging
Awww Ash keeps sending me little messages and photos
Dave sung me good morning on heytell
Mathew got his new stereo which made him happy which made me happy
Pinterest is my obsession
And The Sims

Thats all for now, my writing got interrupted by tea, which was very good by the way my wonderful husband.